Dear Readers,
This blog is not intended to degrade any other culture or the Dutch one for that matter. I'm not generalizing the Dutch community but mainly stating my personal experiences with dating Dutch men. Anyone in my clique knows how much I love the Dutch community so my sentiments don't necessarily speak for everyone but myself.
Over a period of many years, i've dated many Dutch men (dating doesn't mean slept with... That word seems to be gravely misunderstood these days). Aa matter of fact, the very first man I ever had strong feelings & chemistry with was Dutch and the main reason it didn't work was because we were living in different countries at that time & I found it quite difficult to invest myself emotionally and physically even if I really liked him. Anyway.. Here is my experience..
1. Dutch are the tallest & most handsome men in the world so if you are a sucker for beautiful people, take a one flight ticket to The Netherlands & don't look back! I've travelled extensively globally but The Netherlands is one destination that's a real catwalk! Nowhere beats them so if that's your cup of tea, look no further! You are investing at the right joint. Dutch men are absolutely stunning, especially the ones with blonde, curly or wavy hair.. I remember the first time I came to at the Netherlands years ago. I was flabbergasted by their beauty! At one point I had to take a humble seat at the roadside bench, wide eyed and just watch quietly in shock and admiration as they passed by.. People go birdwatching. But I was Dutch-watching & I've no shame in admitting! All those beautiful God-sent lovely creatures.. I could have sworn a wasp entered my agape mouth, slept and left & I hardly noticed.. Before then I thought I would never date a street cleaner but even the mucky Dutch construction worker digging up pipes on the roadside is statuesque! The best part about it is they know they are stunning but they remain humble. They are not into spending time in front of mirrors or making it obvious that they are attractive. They know it, they own it, they are modest about it and they keep it moving!
2. They are intensely direct which is sometimes perceived as rude. I'm quite direct myself so it doesn't affect me and we get along like a house on fire! They don't have this "politically correct" responses. If you ask an opinion he will bluntly tell you as it is. So to avoid a predicament, be careful what you ask them if you are the sensitive type.
3. They believe in the virtue of respecting time and as such, they are exceedingly punctual. If you have a date with a Dutchman at 6pm, he's there before 5.59pm. For them, there is no window for lateness. So, divert your watch ahead of time if you are guilty of walking at a snail pace because if you are late, you will get in an instant tif as you have lost the plot! He will read you once you arrive, send you rude texts or worse case scenario leave! Trust me, you don't want to face the wrath of an angry Dutchman!
4. They are not sheepish about public display of affection so get ready to make out in public. HEAVILY!! They are very affectionate and will not hesitate to kiss you in a metro full of spectators.
5. If you have a date with a Dutch man, expect him to be very well mannered. They treat ladies with respect and are very polite.
6. That said, if you are looking for a chivalrous man, look further from the Netherlands. Dutch men don't believe in opening doors for women, holding your seat, getting you flowers on your first date, offering their coats to a lady if it's cold, leaving tips at restaurants and so on. Few exceptions but that's probably just to impress you just on the first date. What's good for the goose is also good for the gander so equality is the Dutch way.
7. They don't procrastinate sex. Infact, one nights stands are considered the norm. If you are conservative (like myself), they will loose interest... FAST!!! So you have to have something really interesting about yourself to keep it going or he'll tell you to go do one or worse case scenario, go radio silent. Oh well. Better luck next time!!
8. There's a notion that I came up with that says, "Never come between a Dutch man and his money. You will fail miserably"!! Indeed they are super frugal & always want to buy the cheap tags. It's actually quite annoying. If you expect them to pay your bills please sought another nationality. Dutch men prefer independent girls. Splitting bills is common and if you offer to pay the better. They have no shame whatsoever if a lady pays the entire bills. In my case, no Dutch guy has ever asked me to pay but I do know it's the culture because my dad is Dutch & 67 years later, he still complains when the electricity bill is 5 euros more than last month.. What I have experienced for sure is when I offer to pay the entire bill, they have no shame in saying no.
9. They can be painfully shy in approaching ladies so that means that most times the women do the approaching. That means that if you are shy as well, expect hours of stealing glances and smiles across the restaurant for hours and no one moves.. It's happened to me many times and I can confirm it's frustrating! Better luck when they have consumed alcohol.
10. They are very casual & have no fashion sense. Sometimes mix matching weird colors. Brown shoes, green socks, pink tie, black jacket, blue jeans. Yep! The whole rainbow colors.. They rarely dress to impress.
11. They believe in feminism and are widely dominated by women. They know their place which is firmly pressed into the ground, under the dangerously flat shoes of Dutch women. The Dutch woman shouts “jump” and the Dutchman says “how high dear?” They are most of the time referred to as "sissy's" and can remain in long term dead relationships which they can't get out of just because they are scared to come out of their "comfort zone". Everyone around them knows they are miserable but they still don't have the courage to initiate a separation.
12. They aren't fussy about food and usually don't eat heavy meals. For lunch they'll have the usual sober ham & cheese sandwich or something really light. Infact, they don't have a "Dutch cuisine". They have a few Dutch delicacies but you won't find "Dutch ready set menu restaurant anywhere.
13. Don't be fooled by their shy character. If a Dutch man wants you he will tell you! They are not shy about expressing themselves once they get to know you. That means if he wants to have sex he will tell you exactly that! Directly!
14. They are very courteous even towards tourists. You can stop them on the streets to ask directions and they will gladly guide you and sometimes even walk you to your destination or near, even if they are heading the opposite way. Sometimes they will stop their bike to offer assistance even when you didn't ask. Yes! Happened to me many times! However, the bikers are sometimes quite frosty towards pedestrians. At the Netherlands the Dutch bikers are more dangerous than vehicles.
15. They don't like ladies in makeup. They prefer natural girls so if you are used to make up it has to be really subtle or better yet, nothing at all.
16. They prefer simple girls. They are intimidated by sophisticated ladies. Again, that's back to the frugal point. If you love to dress up with stylish cloths and jewelry, drive expensive cars, go to high end places etc, they will assume you are high maintenance. As I mentioned earlier, Dutchmen are married to 3 people. Himself, his money and lastly, you!
17. They love to move in together quickly, have kids 2 or 3, buy a house together but the word marriage makes them run.. FAST!! To them, marriage is a trifling subject and if you bring up the subject, you will drive him crackers!
18. They are not really in touch with their emotional side so that sometimes can be perceived as "cold/don't care), when they actually do. They just aren't used to expressing themselves emotionally. If you aren't used to that you can get quite livid.
19. Most are not religious. So if you are the "I only have sex after marriage type" you will be barking at the wrong tree. Remember the lady on the bench that turned into a "waiting for Mr. right skeleton? Yep! That will be you Hun!
20. Last but not least.. Dutch men have a reputation for being boring. I'm here to tell you that that's absolutely ludicrous! They can start out as being shy but then it's up to you to break and overturn that spell by asking questions, making eye contact and basically showing a lot of interest in getting to know him and the conversations will flow like a river.. They don't engage in hocus-pocus chats.
The best advice I can give:
Don't compromise too much on who you are as a person right off the bat just to please anyone. It doesn't work at long run.. Be yourself and you will be accepted for who you are. I don't mean to sound arrogant but there are things about myself that I've never changed and never will because of a person. I still dress sophisticated, wear stilettos & jewelry, wear makeup at times, procrastinate sex, and I still get Dutch guys interested.. They often say things like "you are very different from what I'm used to p, but I like that. Normal is boring".. So, be yourself! Sometimes opposites attract and just because there is an old adage that says "when you go to Rome, do what the Romans do", it doesn't always apply. They might be intimidated at first but once they get to know you, they will appreciate you wholeheartedly for the unique & awesome person you are..
So, don't be shy, go out there and get those lovely Dutch men you desire! :-)
Happy hunting! :-)
